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scotty1024
07-01-2008, 11:35 PM
So this is what really prompted my "How do you deal with:" series....

I'm on my way home having just crossed the Microsoft campus and I'm waiting at the southern most traffic signal for the walk signal to flash white and make that nice little "beep" that confirms the signal for us blind folks.

A shiny black low slung blob glides (nothing noisy about this baby) up but doesn't come up to the nice fat white line. It immediately attracts my attention because its acting different and I'll have to cross in front of it.

The shiny black low slung blob pulls a U turn and heads back into the campus but pulls over to the far side and someone gets out. The walk signal has turned white and I've started across as the person gets out. I have to focus more on where I'm going but as I reach about half way I see a blob moving down the sidewalk towards the corner.

The part of the human brain that can do differential equations without using calculus announces I'll get there well before the blob: the curb cut is mine.

I relax.

The blob moves faster, still not running (blob isn't bouncing) but moving more quickly.

I get tense again, I still beat blob but not by as much.

I stop: to see what blob will do.

Blob stops.

I look a little more to my left and shiny black low slung blob is getting slowly bigger. Cross walk sign begins to blink red. Blob begins to move slowly.

The curb cut is new so it has the yellow mat.

I crouch, aim for the mat and lean forward for quick acceleration and ignore both blobs.

I pop up on the sidewalk and do the hip and lean thing to go around the light pole and once I'm clear of the pole I look over my left shoulder. The blobs are merging and I'm headed down the street away from them.

About half way down the block I look over my right shoulder and can just see a shiny black blob behind other blobs. As I reach the next light the cross walk is already white. Half way across the cross walk I look back again. Fewer blobs and shiny black blob is bigger.

The annoying thing about the current iPhone: no GPS. You call 911 and they don't know where you are. I know where I am from the next major street I know the name of but only by how many and what kind of curb cuts. But I'm rolling up to my first "snippy spot".

Having been a little insecure about snipping I'd found a place next to the parking lot adjoining the snippy spot that was behind some bushes.

I did a left into the parking lot, quick stopped, hopped off and walked my Segway back behind the bushes again.

About 15 seconds later shiny black low slung blob pulls into the parking lot and slowly drives around it (its sort of square shaped).

About this time my CHF is becoming quite a bother. I'm not supposed to get this excited. Pulse rate is way too high and I'm starting to breath too hard.

Evidently the window(s) get lowered as I suddenly can hear music (rap) and conversation.

"Where the F is he?"

"S I don't know."

"Well I F saw him come in here, he has to be in here!"

I slow my breathing and think about the Garmin.

"S man, you and 'I wanna talk to Segway dude!'"

"Well I do! Gas costs a Mother F now."

"Tell me about it, I keep driving your *** around."

"Well I was thinking about getting one."

"Ha ha won't you just look the slick F dork on a Segway!"

Music disappears and shiny black low slung blob pulls back out into traffic.

I discover you can't really sit on a Segway: console gets in the way.

Downside to being a legally blind Segway owner: groupies. Crazy groupies.

They're fun when you're unlocking your Segway and they stop walking by to ask you a friendly question about it. But chasing you down the street I could do with out.




segsurfer
07-02-2008, 01:21 AM
Being stopped and asked about the seg is one thing, but being stalked, that seems a bit shifty:confused:. Boy you've got some sketchy people in Bellevue.
-segsurfer

DCTenor1
07-02-2008, 01:26 AM
Am I supposed to be cracking up at the image of you and your Segway hiding in the bushes while the crazy rap groupies circle the parking lot to look for you?

Because it's a really funny image. :) That said, I can imagine how scary that must have been for you! I recommend you carry pepper spray, just in case.

segsurfer
07-02-2008, 01:34 AM
I'm picturing the driveby from Malibu's Most Wanted, accept on a segway.:D
-segsurfer

amturnip
07-02-2008, 05:53 AM
How do you deal with: being chased?

I'm on my way home having just crossed the Microsoft campus and ... A shiny black low slung blob...

Hey, don't leave your "Made for Windows Vista" t-shirt in the closet. It will repel everything but worms and viruses. Other things to try:

1) One-way streets... the wrong way. You take the sidewalk.

2) Speed. Or more precisely, lack thereof.

serrow
07-02-2008, 07:33 AM
I'm not endorsing

DCTenor1
07-02-2008, 11:08 AM
IT's cool to see ninjas on Segways, but someone should tell them they are bending their knees a wee bit too much. ;)

scotty1024
07-04-2008, 03:57 AM
I'm home, so happy to be home. I was in for my third angiogram the last 29 hours.

Ever had one of those days where everything that happens seems to have been calculated to raise your blood pressure and literally land you in the ER?

Ever had one of those days and after you get to the ER on foot no one is there and you have to call 911 to get help? Yes, they sent the fire department to make sure someone took care of me. I guess I could have skipped getting there myself and just called 911.

Ever had one of those days where after calling 911 to get help while in the ER they can't find you in the computer and insist you must have gone to some other hospital to get your steents? All the while they're fumbling, you're in pain and what is running through your mind is: We have your chart fully computerized, we can pull it up effortlessly at any of our locations! All we need is your name and birthdate!

I gave them my Washington State ID card and rather than use it to find me, they used that to make two of me in the computer. One that was empty and they could sit around asking me endless questions to fill up and the other one with all the answers: that they couldn't find.

Oh yeah baby: send in the ninjas.

I'm constantly defending myself from various data errors about myself during the entire angiogram setup, slice and recovery process: You can't give me that med, the Doctor was supposed to take it out of the chart, it has a negative interaction with this med you're supposed to be giving me instead...

But the real horror was to come: recovery on July 3... They have to pay staff triple to work the 4th.

If it could walk or shuffle it had to leave before midnight due to staffing reductions.

So there I am with cotton balls taped on to cover various wounds from tubes extracted. 12 lead and 5 lead EKG electrodes making me look like I have extra nipples and bits of silver and blue flashing in the light in strange places. And walking like Frankenstein with a stiff legged gate due to my five hour old femoral artery wound. My Segway handle bar bag swinging genty back and forth on my back as I strode awkwardly forwards. The words "I see from your chart you've popped a healing femoral artery with us before, so do be careful, try not to stress it as you walk." echoing in my ears.

Fortunately the bus stop was only a block. And while I didn't win the foot race, I won the "whom looks most hideous and deserves to sit" contest at the bus stop.

The bus line in question has character. I was leaving the "best hospital" in Seattle (honest) but the bus in question then visits the "we turn no one away" hospital and the local offices for mental health and probation. Being after 9pm all the night fauna were out. Fortunately I apparently looked sick enough even the prostitutes left me alone.

And no, the hospital hadn't spontaneously cured my legal blindness before kicking me out. If you thought getting chased like a rabbit was fun, try being legally blind wearing your high end office clothes after 9pm on a bus carrying some really un-nice people.

I got back to the office and got my Arc'teryx jacket with my i2 infokey. For some reason Taxi's can't handle finding entrances at the hospital, but they can find the office I work at.

The part I really enjoy of course is that they're going to bill my insurance something like $70,000 USD and I got the literal bum's rush at the end.

We had lightening and thunder last night and this morning. My i2 spent the night at the P&R whilst some of the hospital rebuilt my records while other staff worked to keep me alive while waiting for the records they needed. It got rained on all night and into the morning.

I was expecting it to be either stolen or a pile of lightening strike slag, but it seems fine.

When I got home, the internet was down: credit card billing error? Re-ran it through using my iPhone: worked. I can now post.

The Segway sits placidly sucking sustenance through the wall outlet.

I'm slightly afraid to sleep in my bed tonight for fear of what happens next.

All I want to know is: is this some Segway curse? Have I angered the Segway gods? Did I forget to make an offering after purchasing my Segway?

SegwayDan
07-04-2008, 04:56 AM
. . . . Oooooookeeeeee. . . .

How does anyone respond to a post like this other than, "Buck up, pal! Tomorrow's another day!" Oh, and Happy Fourth!

No wait! It wasn't the Segway gods. After all, Herbie is OK, isn't he? It was the Microsoft gods. iPhone mojo stronger than MS mojo--even in Microsoft Valhalla--make MS gods angry!